


Card Capers

by Kieran_Agravane



Category: Pocket Monsters: Diamond & Pearl & Platinum | Pokemon Diamond Pearl Platinum Versions
Genre: Does Cyrus show emotions?, F/M, Mystery card, Saturn is always cute, Saturn is cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-06
Updated: 2017-05-06
Packaged: 2018-10-28 18:20:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10836780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kieran_Agravane/pseuds/Kieran_Agravane
Summary: Cyrus has received something shocking...a Valentine's Day card!  Who could it be from?





	Card Capers

It was a quiet morning at Team Galactics' HQ; Cyrus was sitting at his desk in his office, eating oatmeal for breakfast and checking the morning mail that had just arrived. There were letters from the police (Cyrus binned them), a letter trying to sell him P.P.I (Cyrus binned that too) and a letter addressed to Cynthia. Apparently, sharing the first two letters of your name with the Champion was enough to ensure that some of her mail reached you. However, this was a lingerie catalogue which Cyrus had no interest in, so he binned it.

"This is why I must succeed in my plan," Cyrus said to himself as he stirred his oatmeal. "A world without emotion will also be a world without spam mail. How convenient that will be".

Cyrus was just about to eat a spoon of oatmeal when he noticed another letter on his desk. Admittedly, this one had escaped his attention because it was in a pink envelope, while all the others had been in white envelopes. Cyrus put his spoon down and opened the new letter, mentally preparing to bin it.

Removing the contents from the envelope revealed that this wasn't spam or a bill or another lingerie catalogue. Instead it was a card. A red card with flowers on the front. Opening it, Cyrus read what was written inside.

_To Cyrus_

__

__

_You bring out my emotions_

_Happy Valentine's Day_

_Love from ?_

Cyrus stared at the card, wide eyed. It took him a minute to process what had just happened. Actually, it took him about 10 minutes, by which time his oatmeal was sadly cold. However by then, Cyrus had managed to calm the turmoil in his head and sift out the vital facts of the situation.

1) Somebody had sent him a Valentine's Day card.  
2) Therefore, somebody had a crush on him.  
3) He had no idea who it was, as they hadn't left their name.  
4) Whoever it was, they were feeling emotions.  
5) Therefore, Cyrus had to find out the mystery sender and lecture them on controlling their emotions, to ensure such a thing never happened again.

Cyrus stood up, opened his office desk and slipped the card inside, ignoring the warm feeling in his cheeks. He obviously felt nothing at being sent a Valentine's card; no secret pleasure and certainly no curiosity as to whom could have sent it. Those were emotions and he had successfully rid himself of all emotions.

Cyrus hesitated, took the card back out of the drawer and stood it up on his desk. "If anybody enters my office, I can show them the card and lecture them on the dangers of showing feelings," he said to himself quietly.

________________________________________________________

Cyrus decided that the best way to identify the sender was by writing a computer program that operated within the laws of probability. Such a program would instantly tell him the sender without fail because computers never made mistakes. Cyrus booted up his computer and began writing at once.

"Let's see, the global population is 7.5 billion humans. Should I include people from alternate realities, other dimensions and glitched timelines? Yes, I think I should. I must leave no stone unturned!" Cyrus typed feverishly, wanting to get this program written as quickly as possible. He had important work to do that day and didn't want to take up any more time than he needed to on solving this card mystery.

As Cyrus was writing an equation for permutation without repetition, there was a knock at the door. Cyrus was startled and before he could even consider hiding the Valentine's card, somebody spoke through the intercom.

"Boss, it's me, Saturn. May I come in please?"

"Yes," Cyrus replied, speaking into his own com. Never mind that Saturn would have heard him speaking normally, it was more professional this way. Cyrus pressed the release button on his door and it slid open, revealing Commander Saturn.

"Hi Boss," said Saturn, smiling brightly at him. 

"Good morning Commander," Cyrus replied. He wondered whether or not Saturn would see the Valentine's card. Of course, Cyrus wouldn't be disappointed if Saturn didn't notice it. Unless...

"Uhhh, Boss? May I ask you something, please?" 

Cyrus gazed at Saturn. The red cheeks, the fact he was hanging his head and the fact that Saturn had always adored him. Cyrus was terrible with identifying body language but even he had enough knowledge to wonder to himself at that moment...

_Saturn seems embarrassed. Does this mean that he sent the card?_

"Yes," said Cyrus.

Saturn grinned nervously. "Uhhh, well, you know that today is Valentine's Day, yeah?"

"Yes". _Is Saturn about to admit that he sent me the card?_

Before Cyrus could even attempt to work out how he would feel if Saturn *had* sent the card, Saturn spoke again.

"Um, I wanted to take Jupiter out on a date so I wanted to ask, could we have the day off please?"

"Yes". _Ah, it wasn't Saturn then_. Cyrus wasn't quite sure how he felt about the card *not* being off Saturn but before he could attempt to process this new information, Saturn spoke once more.

"Thanks Boss, you're awesome! Hey, is that a Valentine's card on your desk?"

"It is, yes," said Cyrus. Saturn grinned and gave Cyrus the thumbs up.

"Hehe, you've got an admirer! Who's it off, Boss?"

"I don't know," Cyrus replied. "I am writing a computer program to identify the sender". Saturn didn't speak immediately, so Cyrus continued. "The program will be error free and accurate. By taking the population of Pokeearth, every known interstellar dimension and..."

"That sounds great Boss but I'd better go and get ready for my date," Saturn said. "Bye!" He scuttled to the door and raced out before Cyrus could mention time anomalies.

Cyrus closed the door, thinking that it was a great shame that Saturn was on such a tight schedule and hadn't been able to stay and listen to Cyrus describing his program.

"Never mind, I shall tell him later," Cyrus thought, sitting back down at his desk and continuing to work.

_________________________________________________

"Let's see, if Saturn didn't send the card and Jupiter didn't (because she's going on a date with Saturn), that means I need to remove 2 people from my program," Cyrus said. "Oh yes and I need to remove myself as well. So, 7.5 billion - 3 is..."

"Boss, I need a minute of your time?" a voice behind Cyrus said.

Cyrus turned round and saw Charon standing in the doorway. He had forgot to close it after Saturn had left. Knowing Charon, he was going to complain about something so Cyrus mentally prepared to lecture him on how complaining was giving in to negative emotions and how he should approach problems logically instead.

"Boss, I wish to complain about toilet block B," Charon began. "Some grunts went in and..." He paused, his eyes roaming over to the desk. 

"I can see a Valentine's Day card!"

"Yes," Cyrus agreed.

Charon approached and looked closely at the card. He cackled and patted his hands together.

"Ahahah, it's that one, is it! I suspected this, all along. You've even put it up, Boss!"

"Yes," Cyrus said. His face was expressionless but inside his mind, a horrifying thought had been born.

_Charon is acting as if he knows a lot about the card. Does that mean...*he* sent it?_

"Well, I can't say I'm surprised," Charon said. "I mean, I *know* you don't like to admit that you have emotions but..."

"I do not have emotions!"

"Oh come now!" Charon moved closer to Cyrus. "Why I'm sure as soon as you realised who the card was off, you..."

"I...don't know who it was off," Cyrus said, taking a step backwards, away from Charon.

"Really?" Charon leered, stepping forwards again. "An intelligent man like you and you haven't figured it out yet?"

"I'm...working on it," Cyrus said. He appeared calm, even though he was internally panicking. "I'm...writing a program to analyse the..."

"Ah, you don't need to do that, Boss". Charon was very close now. Cyrus tried to back away further but he bumped against the wall. Charon smirked and leaned in towards him.

 _Oh no, he's going to kiss me!_ Cyrus thought. He was so terrified, he didn't even think that this meant Charon was showing emotions. He closed his eyes, wishing that he could somehow magically teleport away.

"It was Mars who sent the card," Charon whispered in Cyrus's ear. "I saw her writing it, yesterday!" He stepped back as Cyruses' legs gave out and he slid down onto the floor. 

"Mars?" Cyrus repeated, still with his eyes tightly closed.

"Yes!" Charon announced. "You've got a secret...or should I say *not so secret* admirer!" He laughed gleefully and Cyrus heard the sound of footsteps fading and then the soft whoosh of his office door closing.

________________________________________________

Mars was in the break room, drinking orange juice and flicking through the channels on the TV rapidly. "There's nothing decent on to watch," she muttered, although it was more the case that Mars just wasn't in the mood to watch TV.

Cyrus entered the break room and sat down next to Mars. "Good morning, Commander," he said.

"Oh, Boss!" Mars blushed and put the remote down. "Did you want to watch TV? Should I get you an orange juice or would you prefer water?"

"No, I don't need anything, thank you," Cyrus said. "I need to...report a serious breach of confidence!"

"To me?" Mars was puzzled. "Why, what is wrong, Boss?"

Cyrus hesitated, pulling at a loose thread on the settee. "I...found out that..."

Mars went ever redder. "Uhhh, is it about the card?"

"Yes," said Cyrus. He took a deep breath. "Charon entered my office without asking permission and rudely gave away your secret that you had written it. Do you require me to punish him?"

Mars breathed out a sigh of relief. "Oh...oh no, Boss, that's alright! You don't have to...I mean, I thought that you were going to lecture me for sending the card!"

Cyrus remembered that he had planned to lecture the sender as soon as he found out who they were. He looked at Mars; who was now smiling brightly. There were two facts for Cyrus to consider.

1) Mars wasn't Charon.  
2) Mars was just Mars and not anybody else from Pokeearth or any other dimensions, alternate universes or glitched timelines.

Cyrus blinked and finally freed the loose thread. "Saturn asked Jupiter out on a date because of today being Valentine's Day. I feel that it would only be proper of me to offer you the same courtesy".

Mars beamed and nodded. "Oh Boss! I'd love to!" she said. "That would be brilliant!"

"Yes," agreed Cyrus. "Thank you for the card, Commander. Also, I shall let you choose where we go for a date. Also, there is something else. Something important that I want to share with you".

Mars felt herself blushing. Cyrus leaned in closer to Mars, gently placing a hand on her shoulder.

"I want to show you the program I was writing earlier. I am sure you'll find it fascinating!"

**The End**


End file.
